Doing it Like A Boss: Rieverre, this one is for you...

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Re: Doing it Like A Boss: Rieverre, this one is for you...

Post by Psyckosama on Sun Jun 01, 2014 3:58 pm

Rieverre wrote:I turn my head to turn the blow into a glancing one follow through with that momentum, adjusting my stance and twisting my torso into a spin that ideally finishes with my elbow in his side

*OOMPH!*

Gimme a d10 roll please.

I am.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WrongGenreSavvy

You're trying to be this.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BoringButPractical

You're in a Saints Row/Comic Book world.

It runs on this:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RuleOfCool

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Re: Doing it Like A Boss: Rieverre, this one is for you...

Post by Rieverre on Sun Jun 01, 2014 4:01 pm

Psyckosama wrote:*OOMPH!*

Gimme a d10 roll please.

rollan


less Noir and more Iron Fist? Well, without the mystical stuff. Hm.
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Re: Doing it Like A Boss: Rieverre, this one is for you...

Post by Psyckosama on Sun Jun 01, 2014 4:01 pm

The member 'Rieverre' has done the following action : Dice Roller

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Re: Doing it Like A Boss: Rieverre, this one is for you...

Post by Psyckosama on Sun Jun 01, 2014 4:04 pm

Rieverre wrote:less Noir and more Iron Fist? Well, without the mystical stuff. Hm.

Yep... but it doesn't seem to do you much good.

He smiles, and stands... and pulls out what looks like a small syringe full of green fluid... then jams it into his leg...


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Re: Doing it Like A Boss: Rieverre, this one is for you...

Post by Rieverre on Sun Jun 01, 2014 4:11 pm

Psyckosama wrote:Yep... but it doesn't seem to do you much good.

He smiles, and stands... and pulls out what looks like a small syringe full of green fluid... then jams it into his leg...

... I take the chance to backstep, fast-draw my gun, and empty it into one of his legs ...

And fuck, I'm in a comic book. Which means that will likely not do too much because he's just shot up with something that might be a Venom deriviate, so I try to ignore the minigun clatter in the background and do the counter-intuitive thing - charge the guy before he can change fully.

I jink to the side right before reaching him, jump and rebound off of a wall, and put everything I have into a dropping axe kick to the side of his collar bone in some faint hope that the leg I emptied a magazine into will fold up. Or I break some of his bones. Or both. So I can pistol whip him in the face.
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Re: Doing it Like A Boss: Rieverre, this one is for you...

Post by Psyckosama on Sun Jun 01, 2014 4:14 pm

Rieverre wrote:... I take the chance to backstep, fast-draw my gun, and empty it into one of his legs ...

He grunts in pain... but doesn't move.

And fuck, I'm in a comic book. Which means that will likely not do too much because he's just shot up with something that might be a Venom deriviate, so I try to ignore the minigun clatter in the background and do the counter-intuitive thing - charge the guy before he can change fully.

I jink to the side right before reaching him, jump and rebound off of a wall, and put everything I have into a dropping axe kick to the side of his collar bone in some faint hope that the leg I emptied a magazine into will fold up. Or I break some of his bones. Or both. So I can pistol whip him in the face.

You charge just in time to bounce off of him as his well tailored suit starts to tear at the seams... His eyes are bloodshot and wild and his foaming at the mouth.

Hard Mode Activated!


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Re: Doing it Like A Boss: Rieverre, this one is for you...

Post by Rieverre on Sun Jun 01, 2014 4:21 pm

Psyckosama wrote:He grunts in pain... but doesn't move.

Crap. He just tanked a magazine of AP at nearly point blank range ...

You charge just in time to bounce off of him as his well tailored suit starts to tear at the seams... His eyes are bloodshot and wild and his foaming at the mouth.

Hard Mode Activated!


... I'm going to need more gun.

Fortunately, we're in a warehouse full of them, and my enemy is a berserker ...

So I dodge out of the way of his inevitable first charge, try to put a knife into his leg while doing so, if at all feasible, and ... dammit, the crates are probably reinforced.

I look at the crates.

Look at the raging Venom-zerker.

Look at the crates again.

Pop another magazine into my pistol and empty it into him to get him charging at me again, then duck out of the way so he crashes into the weapons crates.

"Ole, motherfucker!"
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Re: Doing it Like A Boss: Rieverre, this one is for you...

Post by Psyckosama on Sun Jun 01, 2014 4:26 pm

Crap. He just tanked a magazine of AP at nearly point blank range ...

Yeah. Problem with AP is they tend to go clear through soft tissue without causing massive hydrostatic shock.

In otherwords, they just managed to piss him off.

... I'm going to need more gun.

Fortunately, we're in a warehouse full of them, and my enemy is a berserker ...

So I dodge out of the way of his inevitable first charge, try to put a knife into his leg while doing so, if at all feasible, and ... dammit, the crates are probably reinforced.

I look at the crates.

Look at the raging Venom-zerker.

Look at the crates again.

Pop another magazine into my pistol and empty it into him to get him charging at me again, then duck out of the way so he crashes into the weapons crates.

"Ole, motherfucker!"

He catches your hand as you try and stab him, takes your knife, and then grins like a lunatic as he snaps the blade like its cheap plastic...

Then he throws you into a weapons crate.

Good news is the crate breaks open.

Bad news is... you hit it so hard, the crate breaks open.

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Re: Doing it Like A Boss: Rieverre, this one is for you...

Post by Rieverre on Sun Jun 01, 2014 4:34 pm

Psyckosama wrote:Yeah. Problem with AP is they tend to go clear through soft tissue without causing massive hydrostatic shock.

In otherwords, they just managed to piss him off.

Which is why I tried emptying as many as I could in as small and area as I could. I was hoping the damage would stick around when he Venom-ed out.

He catches your hand as you try and stab him, takes your knife, and then grins like a lunatic as he snaps the blade like its cheap plastic...

Then he throws you into a weapons crate.

Good news is the crate breaks open.

Bad news is... you hit it so hard, the crate breaks open.

Fortunately, I'm wearing body armor. Which is probably why the crate is broken right now and _I'm_ not.

I grab whatever it is I just crashed through a crate of and roll out of the way of his inevitable follow-up.

Then, if it isn't something that it's really not a good idea to use in the middle of this kind of place, like an RPG or similar, I unload it into the guy's back.
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Re: Doing it Like A Boss: Rieverre, this one is for you...

Post by Psyckosama on Sun Jun 01, 2014 4:45 pm

Rieverre wrote:Which is why I tried emptying as many as I could in as small and area as I could. I was hoping the damage would stick around when he Venom-ed out.

Venom doesn't make you HEAL damage, it just makes it so you don't care.

Fortunately, I'm wearing body armor. Which is probably why the crate is broken right now and _I'm_ not.

Yep.

I grab whatever it is I just crashed through a crate of and roll out of the way of his inevitable follow-up.

It was a large massive, foam filled protective create holding a single item.

Then, if it isn't something that it's really not a good idea to use in the middle of this kind of place, like an RPG or similar, I unload it into the guy's back.

You look down into your hand.


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Re: Doing it Like A Boss: Rieverre, this one is for you...

Post by Rieverre on Sun Jun 01, 2014 5:05 pm

Psyckosama wrote:Venom doesn't make you HEAL damage, it just makes it so you don't care.

Mental note, upgrade to a pistol shotgun.

It was a large massive, foam filled protective create holding a single item.

Dis gun be gud ...

You look down into your hand.


For a moment I think I just ended up with the Noisy Cricket ... then I realize it's the cheap bargain basement knockoff I _can't actually use in here_ because it's an explosive weapon, not a concussive one.

Goddammit.

Okay, think ... this just means you have to get inventive.

Oh, this is going to suck.

I start running, tucking the tiny pistol into a pocket and continuing to pepper the manager with mostly ineffectual rounds from my sidearm. Running _towards_ the sounds of gatling-gun fire. Once the Brute comes into sight, I'll start shooting at _him_. Then _duck_ if he swings that minigun around, and hopefully he'll take out the Venom juicer for me. Otherwise, piss my dance partner off enough to make him crash into the Brute in a charge.
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Re: Doing it Like A Boss: Rieverre, this one is for you...

Post by Psyckosama on Fri Jun 06, 2014 11:17 pm

Rieverre wrote:Mental note, upgrade to a pistol shotgun.

Or some form of energy weapon. They're always fun.

Dis gun be gud ...

Yep.

For a moment I think I just ended up with the Noisy Cricket ... then I realize it's the cheap bargain basement knockoff I _can't actually use in here_ because it's an explosive weapon, not a concussive one.

Goddammit.

Okay, think ... this just means you have to get inventive.

Oh, this is going to suck.

I start running, tucking the tiny pistol into a pocket and continuing to pepper the manager with mostly ineffectual rounds from my sidearm. Running _towards_ the sounds of gatling-gun fire. Once the Brute comes into sight, I'll start shooting at _him_. Then _duck_ if he swings that minigun around, and hopefully he'll take out the Venom juicer for me. Otherwise, piss my dance partner off enough to make him crash into the Brute in a charge.

Roll a d100 please.

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Re: Doing it Like A Boss: Rieverre, this one is for you...

Post by Rieverre on Fri Jun 06, 2014 11:19 pm

Psyckosama wrote:Or some form of energy weapon. They're always fun.

... well, STAG has energy shotguns, last I checked. Wonder if I can yoink one and get a sawed off version.

Roll a d100 please.

Well, this is going to go horribly ...
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Re: Doing it Like A Boss: Rieverre, this one is for you...

Post by Psyckosama on Fri Jun 06, 2014 11:19 pm

The member 'Rieverre' has done the following action : Dice Roller

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Re: Doing it Like A Boss: Rieverre, this one is for you...

Post by Psyckosama on Fri Jun 06, 2014 11:24 pm

Rieverre wrote:... well, STAG has energy shotguns, last I checked. Wonder if I can yoink one and get a sawed off version.

Just look around. Or buy a pistol. Whatever.

Well, this is going to go horribly ...

It could have been worse. Not by much, but it could have been...

When you try and run he throws a crate at your back, and as you're facing away from him it pretty much sends you flying.

You hit a wall with unhappy amounts of force while he starts walking back towards you with a smile.

Your gun has also been knocked away.

d10

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Re: Doing it Like A Boss: Rieverre, this one is for you...

Post by Rieverre on Fri Jun 06, 2014 11:29 pm

Psyckosama wrote:It could have been worse. Not by much, but it could have been...

When you try and run he throws a crate at your back, and as you're facing away from him it pretty much sends you flying.

You hit a wall with unhappy amounts of force while he starts walking back towards you with a smile.

Your gun has also been knocked away.

d10

Ow.

Dammit.
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Re: Doing it Like A Boss: Rieverre, this one is for you...

Post by Psyckosama on Fri Jun 06, 2014 11:29 pm

The member 'Rieverre' has done the following action : Dice Roller

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Re: Doing it Like A Boss: Rieverre, this one is for you...

Post by Psyckosama on Fri Jun 06, 2014 11:45 pm

You look down and find that the create has busted open, covering you in these...


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Re: Doing it Like A Boss: Rieverre, this one is for you...

Post by Rieverre on Fri Jun 06, 2014 11:50 pm

Psyckosama wrote:You look down and find that the create has busted open, covering you in these...


I blink.

You know what ...

... yeah, let's roll with this. It's not the craziest thing I've done this week, or the weirdest.

Also, this is the _last_ thing my opponent probably expects me to do.

I kippup out of the pile of purple weapons/sex-toys wearing a demented grin, one preposterously proportioned purple phallus in each hand, and charge the Venom-juicer ...

It's not as stupid as it sounds, really, seeing as I now have range on him.

Fuck it, I also shout 'SWORDFIGHT!' at the top of my lungs as I start swinging.
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Re: Doing it Like A Boss: Rieverre, this one is for you...

Post by Psyckosama on Sat Jun 07, 2014 12:13 am

One more roll oh Penis Ninja!

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Re: Doing it Like A Boss: Rieverre, this one is for you...

Post by Rieverre on Sat Jun 07, 2014 12:17 am

Psyckosama wrote:One more roll oh Penis Ninja!

rolling
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Re: Doing it Like A Boss: Rieverre, this one is for you...

Post by Psyckosama on Sat Jun 07, 2014 12:17 am

The member 'Rieverre' has done the following action : Dice Roller

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Re: Doing it Like A Boss: Rieverre, this one is for you...

Post by Psyckosama on Sat Jun 07, 2014 12:28 am

Well, you charge at him and even drugged up he's a bit shocked by what he sees. Which gives you a chance to slap him silly with the giant ass dildo. He recovers quickly though and tries to fight back but he's slowed by his mechanical injury and while he doesn't notice the damage your blows are causing its still there.

Still, you're not in the best shape yourself. If not for your armor you'd probably be dead and Kevlar still isn't the best for blunt force trama. Honestly. At this point its honestly a question of what will fail first, your stamina or his high... and considering the fact you've been smashed around like a test dummy and his blood loss, it's a crap shoot.

At least until you hear a zzap as he falls to the ground quivering. Even venom has problems when your voluntary nervous system has been shorted out.

Shaundi, Pierce, and your loving wife are looking at you. The boss is holding a tazer.

Shaundi blinks. "The fuck is... okay. To hell with it, I don't even want to know what you two were doing back here."

Pierce looks over. "Hey, mans gotta do what a man's gotta do, right? But honestly, why the hell was a weapons smugger transporting a crate full of giant purple dildos?"

The Boss however ignores their banter and smiles at you, chuckleing to herself in amusement. "Boys boys. Always with the ego. I turn my head and then I walk into a cockfight, yes?"

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Re: Doing it Like A Boss: Rieverre, this one is for you...

Post by Rieverre on Sat Jun 07, 2014 12:40 am

Psyckosama wrote:Well, you charge at him and even drugged up he's a bit shocked by what he sees. Which gives you a chance to slap him silly with the giant ass dildo. He recovers quickly though and tries to fight back but he's slowed by his mechanical injury and while he doesn't notice the damage your blows are causing its still there.

Still, you're not in the best shape yourself. If not for your armor you'd probably be dead and Kevlar still isn't the best for blunt force trama. Honestly. At this point its honestly a question of what will fail first, your stamina or his high... and considering the fact you've been smashed around like a test dummy and his blood loss, it's a crap shoot.

At least until you hear a zzap as he falls to the ground quivering. Even venom has problems when your voluntary nervous system has been shorted out.

Shaundi, Pierce, and your loving wife are looking at you. The boss is holding a tazer.

Shaundi blinks. "The fuck is... okay. To hell with it, I don't even want to know what you two were doing back here."

Pierce looks over. "Hey, mans gotta do what a man's gotta do, right? But honestly, why the hell was a weapons smugger transporting a crate full of giant purple dildos?"

The Boss however ignores their banter and smiles at you, chuckleing to herself in amusement. "Boys boys. Always with the ego. I turn my head and then I walk into a cockfight, yes?"

With a sigh I drop my ... improvised weapons ... and then wince.

"Well, since the sane approach got me thrown through a weapons crate, another thrown into me, and a painful meeting between my back and a wall. Crazy, on the other hand, was actually _working_."

Painful shrug.

"If it's stupid and it works ..."

If things continue in this vein, I am never running out of party stories.

Anyway, I go collect my gun again and get my stun-gun back. Then I imagine we secure prisoners and move to sweep the rest of the place, offices in particular?
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Re: Doing it Like A Boss: Rieverre, this one is for you...

Post by Psyckosama on Sat Jun 07, 2014 8:37 pm

Rieverre wrote:With a sigh I drop my ... improvised weapons ... and then wince.

"Well, since the sane approach got me thrown through a weapons crate, another thrown into me, and a painful meeting between my back and a wall. Crazy, on the other hand, was actually _working_."

Painful shrug.

"If it's stupid and it works ..."

If things continue in this vein, I am never running out of party stories.

"I don't see anything wrong with this," Boss replies, "If anything I want one of those..."

Shaundi blinks. "Seriously? I mean that's too much, even for me..."

"Not like that Shaundi," she replies. "Tell me, can you think of a more humiliating death than getting beaten to death by a giant floppy purple cock?"

Pierce blinks. "Yeah, I can come up with a couple,but I ain't gonna say it."

"Exactly. Now bundle that up."

"The Manager or the Dildos."

"Yes."

Anyway, I go collect my gun again and get my stun-gun back. Then I imagine we secure prisoners and move to sweep the rest of the place, offices in particular?

He's been crushed.

And its prisoner. Singular. And it seems the boss did a good job of killing EVERYTHING THAT MOVES. Especially if the giant headless body sitting next to the mini-gun is any indicator.

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Re: Doing it Like A Boss: Rieverre, this one is for you...

Post by Rieverre on Sat Jun 07, 2014 8:46 pm

Psyckosama wrote:"I don't see anything wrong with this," Boss replies, "If anything I want one of those..."

Shaundi blinks. "Seriously? I mean that's too much, even for me..."

"Not like that Shaundi," she replies. "Tell me, can you think of a more humiliating death than getting beaten to death by a giant floppy purple cock?"

Pierce blinks. "Yeah, I can come up with a couple,but I ain't gonna say it."

"Exactly. Now bundle that up."

"The Manager or the Dildos."

"Yes."

"Oh, yeah, and if you find something like this? Or equally strange or out of place?" I pull out the Not!Noisy Cricket. "Don't assume it's a toy out of hand. If this thing is what I think it is then Loren's gone into trade in exotics. We'd need an empty stretch of concrete or firing range to check, but until then, better safe than sorry."

He's been crushed.

And its prisoner. Singular. And it seems the boss did a good job of killing EVERYTHING THAT MOVES. Especially if the giant headless body sitting next to the mini-gun is any indicator.

... this should probably be disturbing, but the first thing to come to mind by ways of a response is:

"We're keeping the minigun."

Anyway, yeah, time to secure the offices. I make a call to any forensic accountants I have on my local legal team and arrange to have them brought over so that whatever paperwork we find, they go through with a fine toothed comb. Oh, yeah, if at all possible, we should put the Brute corpse on ice. I can buy a lab or something later and poach some people to run tests on it.

After that, I think we might as well mount up and pay a visit to the Friendly Fire stores around town. ^^

Oh, and if there's an empty lot or such, I'll use the opportunity to check the not!Cricket out.
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Re: Doing it Like A Boss: Rieverre, this one is for you...

Post by Psyckosama on Sat Jun 07, 2014 8:52 pm

Rieverre wrote:"Oh, yeah, and if you find something like this? Or equally strange or out of place?" I pull out the Not!Noisy Cricket. "Don't assume it's a toy out of hand. If this thing is what I think it is then Loren's gone into trade in exotics. We'd need an empty stretch of concrete or firing range to check, but until then, better safe than sorry."

"Or a Morningstar Sedan, yes?"

... this should probably be disturbing, but the first thing to come to mind by ways of a response is:

"We're keeping the minigun."

Everyone looks at you. The Boss nods. "Of course we're keeping the Minigun."

Anyway, yeah, time to secure the offices. I make a call to any forensic accountants I have on my local legal team and arrange to have them brought over so that whatever paperwork we find, they go through with a fine toothed comb. Oh, yeah, if at all possible, we should put the Brute corpse on ice. I can buy a lab or something later and poach some people to run tests on it.

2 d10s.

After that, I think we might as well mount up and pay a visit to the Friendly Fire stores around town. ^^

Done. You buy them out right quick. You go for the other businesses?

Oh, and if there's an empty lot or such, I'll use the opportunity to check the not!Cricket out.

She still suggests a morningstar sedan.

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Re: Doing it Like A Boss: Rieverre, this one is for you...

Post by Rieverre on Sat Jun 07, 2014 9:09 pm

Psyckosama wrote:"Or a Morningstar Sedan, yes?"

"Might be a little overkill, but if the opportunity should present itself ..."

2 d10s.

rolling

Done. You buy them out right quick. You go for the other businesses?

... you know, we've got a good thing going here and we look entirely reputable.

Armed to the teeth and looking like we've been in a small war and our nominal leader walking around with a giant purple dildo-bat propped against one shoulder.

... sure, let's. There is nothing that can go wrong with this plan.

And get falafel on the way. Or 3AM curry. Whichever. Hostile takeovers are hungry work.

She still suggests a morningstar sedan.

"I have this hunch that we'll have one or more in the vicinity before the night is through."
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Re: Doing it Like A Boss: Rieverre, this one is for you...

Post by Psyckosama on Sat Jun 07, 2014 9:09 pm

The member 'Rieverre' has done the following action : Dice Roller

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Re: Doing it Like A Boss: Rieverre, this one is for you...

Post by Psyckosama on Fri Jun 13, 2014 10:57 am

Rieverre wrote:"Might be a little overkill, but if the opportunity should present itself ..."

"I'd say just enough kill."

8, 1

You find some stuff. Records and the like but it seems he keeps everything or REAL value electronic and off sight.

... you know, we've got a good thing going here and we look entirely reputable.

Armed to the teeth and looking like we've been in a small war and our nominal leader walking around with a giant purple dildo-bat propped against one shoulder.

... sure, let's. There is nothing that can go wrong with this plan.

And get falafel on the way. Or 3AM curry. Whichever. Hostile takeovers are hungry work.

She's cool with whatever. And most of the store owners just want to be left the fuck alone. So they pay up as long as you do that.

"I have this hunch that we'll have one or more in the vicinity before the night is through."

"Oh look, there is one now..."

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