Stags of the Mountains: You in the A Song of Ice and Fire BROB: With a Bonus!

Brian Boru wrote:He notices it though he also notices the happy and latches onto that.

There's more happy than the other.

That leads him to coughing a bit.

I chuckle. "And there is my problem."

You have him riveted when you show the hammer.

"I take it I can call it mine."

He's dammed impressed when you tell him about your fight with the Hill men and is laughing when he hears about the poor Riverlander you got your armor from.

"He insulted me so I called him out. The old saying goes, don't bite off more than you can chew... and I have an axe I need to return. Honorable thing to do and all that."

He's also quite impressed when he hears about the Shadowcat.

"I like the cloak"

"Gods lad.  I'm somewhat torn, while I wish you had been here, I don't think you'd ever have become this incredible man, and man you are and let no one say otherwise, that is sitting across from me.  I am honestly honored to call you my son, even if others would say only my bastard son." He leans in and whispers, "Between you and me Edd...you're more a son of mine than Joffrey is.  I would have tried the same damn things at your age.  Him?  I don't think he'll ever fight for himself if he can avoid it."

Before you can comment the door opens and a servant announces that the feast is ready and the king's and the champion of the day's prescence is required.  Robert pulls himself out of his seat and says, "Well lad, shall we face that pit of vipers?"

He then heads out.  Do you follow him?

Of course.

"I have your back, father."

Brian Boru wrote:She frowns and swats you.  She's back:P

Take thy beak from out my heart. ^^ We probably spend a few minutes horsing around and generally being silly as a result.

Well so long as you prove to be a capable fighter like this, once you're knighted, someone is SURE to take you on.

Yes, and chances are they'll provide some adequate arms and armor as well, but I'm not sure I'm comfortable with being in that kind of debt. It'd chafe.

A healthy rounsey looks to be your best bet.

For now. I'll hold off buying until I actually need one.

He says that the best herbalists are usually a few buildings away from the whorehouses.  Though he wonders why you're interested if you're not going to be ...you know...

Well, I'd already told him before, aside from avoiding inconvenient sprogs running around unless I want them to, it'd be useful to know in more detail how to take care of injuries, infection, and so on and so forth, especially as I'll likely be unable to afford a Maester for a good long while. That and my philosophical opposition to the concept of eventually getting poisoned.

I might be overly negative where my attitude is concerned, true, but better know how to do something and never need to do it than need to do something and not know how to go about it.

Anyway, time to go see if I can't turn one up and hope any lessons, should they be willing to provide those, won't cost me an arm and a leg.

Psyckosama wrote:There's more happy than the other.

That's good.

I chuckle. "And there is my problem."

"True but still you still need to make the eight, not really a man and all that." He jokes. He doesn't press though.

"I take it I can call it mine."

"What do you think lad?"

"He insulted me so I called him out. The old saying goes, don't bite off more than you can chew... and I have an axe I need to return. Honorable thing to do and all that."

He laughs again, then when he hears where you have to go, he asks that once you've done that if you would be willing to return to king's landing. He has an idea.

"I like the cloak"

"It looks good on you."

Of course.

"I have your back, father."

You walk in not far behind the king, he sits at the head of the Royal table with his children followed by his brothers, you end up getting a seat of honor with said table which gets MANY people whispering. Looking to your left is Renly Baratheon, the Lord of Storm's End and the youngest brother of the king, a leaner, younger, and pizazzier version of you're old man save for the green eyes, it's like looking into a damn mirror. Until he talks, then he sounds like someone who wouldn't have lasted ten seconds in that fight in the mountains.

To your right, you notice that it's an older man with the sigil of a golden tree, the same one who'd sent someone to speak with you earlier. Neither has made a move to talk just yet but unless you do they will and you'll lose the initiative.

Rieverre wrote:Take thy beak from out my heart. ^^ We probably spend a few minutes horsing around and generally being silly as a result.

It's a fun moment.

Yes, and chances are they'll provide some adequate arms and armor as well, but I'm not sure I'm comfortable with being in that kind of debt. It'd chafe.

Kinda the point of a sworn sword BUT if you do well enough...or manage to find a VERY desparate lord with only a daughter for an heir....

For now. I'll hold off buying until I actually need one.

Alright.

Well, I'd already told him before, aside from avoiding inconvenient sprogs running around unless I want them to, it'd be useful to know in more detail how to take care of injuries, infection, and so on and so forth, especially as I'll likely be unable to afford a Maester for a good long while. That and my philosophical opposition to the concept of eventually getting poisoned.

I might be overly negative where my attitude is concerned, true, but better know how to do something and never need to do it than need to do something and not know how to go about it.

Anyway, time to go see if I can't turn one up and hope any lessons, should they be willing to provide those, won't cost me an arm and a leg.

Alright, makes sense to him, there have been times in his past where having some herbalist skills right then and there would have been godssends.

Brian Boru wrote:"True but still you still need to make the eight, not really a man and all that."  He jokes.  He doesn't press though.

"I'm paranoid. Can you blame me?"

"What do you think lad?"

"I need to hear the words if only to put to rest all the fucking idiots who try and say a bastard shouldn't have the king's hammer."

He laughs again, then when he hears where you have to go, he asks that once you've done that if you would be willing to return to king's landing.  He has an idea.

I smile, "Father, how about before we go we go on a hunting trip where we can talk well away from walls and their ears."

"It looks good on you."

"Thank you. Maybe we could go for a hunt in the mountains one day and make it a matched set! I mean every king needs a proper fur lined cloak and I think it would be a true sign of your vigor to have bagged the poor bastard yourself"

You walk in not far behind the king, he sits at the head of the Royal table with his children followed by his brothers, you end up getting a seat of honor with said table which gets MANY people whispering.  Looking to your left is Renly Baratheon, the Lord of Storm's End and the youngest brother of the king, a leaner, younger, and pizazzier version of you're old man save for the green eyes, it's like looking into a damn mirror.  Until he talks, then he sounds like someone who wouldn't have lasted ten seconds in that fight in the mountains.

I repress the urge to sigh and smile at him. "Hello uncle, I hope your invite still stands. I'd enjoy getting to know you better."

To your right, you notice that it's an older man with the sigil of a golden tree, the same one who'd sent someone to speak with you earlier.  Neither has made a move to talk just yet but unless you do they will and you'll lose the initiative.

"And good health to you as well. I hope the offer still stands as well."

Psyckosama wrote:"I'm paranoid. Can you blame me?"

"I guess not but you'll go mad if you bottle up all the time."

"I need to hear the words if only to put to rest all the fucking idiots who try and say a bastard shouldn't have the king's hammer."

"Anyone who tries to take that hammer from you will answer to me..." and you get a sense of "Ours is the Fury" with the intensity you've never heard of before.

I smile, "Father, how about before we go we go on a hunting trip where we can talk well away from walls and their ears."

"An excellent Idea lad. The moment this tourney's done we'll gather up and go.'

"Thank you. Maybe we could go for a hunt in the mountains one day and make it a matched set! I mean every king needs a proper fur lined cloak and I think it would be a true sign of your vigor to have bagged the poor bastard yourself"

"Not a bad idea either."

I repress the urge to sigh and smile at him. "Hello uncle, I hope your invite still stands. I'd enjoy getting to know you better."

"Ah, the gods have blessed me to allow the greatest jouster I've ever laid eyes on to sit next to me. So you're one of Robert's are you? Well you certainly have the look, like looking into a mirror from half a lifetime ago. Just don't have half the staff girls smiling and limping by the end of the week. I rather enjoy having a clean room...though given how handsome a devil you are AND a champion...that might be a forgone conclusion."

"As for that offer, unless my brother snatches you up, yes...it does still stand...you've got Storm Lord blood in ya, should see the old place at least once. Though might not love it anymore than I did left as soon as I could, all that rain, and dour Stormlander lords brrr..."

"And good health to you as well. I hope the offer still stands as well."

The other man turns to you, "Ah today's champion, good day to you lad. And yes the offer still stands, circumstance of birth or not one would have to be a fool to not take a man with such incredible prowess if he could. So, I know something of you're name and birth Eddard Stone, of the Vale I would guess but I've learned little else, gossip being as insane and varied as it is. So where from the Vale did you come from and who is, or rather was your master?"

Brian Boru wrote:"I guess not but you'll go mad if you bottle up all the time."

I simply smirk. "There's a lot a girl can do with her mouth."

"Anyone who tries to take that hammer from you will answer to me..."  and you get a sense of "Ours is the Fury" with the intensity you've never heard of before.

"Thank you, father. That is why I asked. I needed the confirmation."

"An excellent Idea lad.  The moment this tourney's done we'll gather up and go.'

I look delighted.

"Not a bad idea either."

"We'll bag a great beast befitting a king's shoulders!"

"Ah, the gods have blessed me to allow the greatest jouster I've ever laid eyes on to sit next to me.  So you're one of Robert's are you?  Well you certainly have the look, like looking into a mirror from half a lifetime ago.  Just don't have half the staff girls smiling and limping by the end of the week.  I rather enjoy having a clean room...though given how handsome a devil you are AND a champion...that might be a forgone conclusion."

"Worry not uncle, while I do enjoy the sight of a comely lass like any other young man my age... I dare not inflict the same troubles I have experienced upon my own children." I grin, "Though if anyone could suggest a good apothecary who supplies in bulk, I'd be very much obliged."

"As for that offer, unless my brother snatches you up, yes...it does still stand...you've got Storm Lord blood in ya, should see the old place at least once.  Though might not love it anymore than I did left as soon as I could, all that rain, and dour Stormlander lords brrr..."

"I grew up in the mountains. There's little nature can throw at a man that I haven't learned to endure. Though I will admit, while I can handle the cold, the damp is a right bother."

The other man turns to you, "Ah today's champion, good day to you lad.  And yes the offer still stands, circumstance of birth or not one would have to be a fool to not take a man with such incredible prowess if he could.  So, I know something of you're name and birth Eddard Stone, of the Vale I would guess but I've learned little else, gossip being as insane and varied as it is. So where from the Vale did you come from and who is, or rather was your master?"

"Ser Martyn Lancet, was my master. I have asked father to allow him to join the feast as without his teaching I would have not been able to stand here today. I owe him much and one day hope to repay..."

If here's here I indicate him and raise a glass to honor him.

"As for my origins, I was born in the Eyrie."

Brian Boru wrote:It's a fun moment.

Too few of those to be had in life in general, so I enjoy it. When we stop, though, I've thought of something ... it's a longshot, but should conditions prove favorable ...

"Of course, you could always try to make yourself indispensable. Mychel seems, for all his nobility, canny enough. It's a dangerous world, and trusted advisers are always in short supply. That brings with it its own perils, but ... it could be an option. Read, learn, find insights to offer. It's a possibility, nothing more, little sister ... but it's a possibility."

Kinda the point of a sworn sword BUT if you do well enough...or manage to find a VERY desparate lord with only a daughter for an heir....

That or win men's loyalty and become a warlord somewhere. Though that would necessitate a certain level of ruthlessness and abandonment of whatever oaths I'd have made at that point. It's an option, but unless things change drastically it won't be one I pursue religiously.

I suppose winning enough glory to be noticed by the King is also an option, both possibly advantageous and utterly perilous at the same time.

So yeah, I've ambition enough to understand the desire of people to play the game. I'm not sure how to feel about that.

Alright, makes sense to him, there have been times in his past where having some herbalist skills right then and there would have been godssends.

It's probably why while most knights and soldiers offer prayers to the Warrior, I send such to the Stranger. Ignorance is not bliss, and that which you do not know will, more likely than not, kill you or maim you severely. So I try to find out such things as I can.

Anyway, time to find a herbalist. Preferably one actually skilled, so the house of ill repute he lives by should be one with a reputation for clean girls. Or boys. Honestly, it's academic, I'm looking for indications of competence. Honestly, I'll probably just start by asking Ser Martyn if he can narrow my options down here.

Brian Boru wrote:
He seems to be very impressed with what you've done and says, "In honor of your actions I Nestor Royce do reward Eddard Stone with 1 gold dragon for the head of the band and 1 silver stag for each other Hillman your slew. Use them well."

I bow again in thanks, that was... more money then I've ever had. "Thank you my lord."

Well, once I am dismissed, time to tell the big news to my sister, and see about getting her a gift.

Psyckosama wrote:I simply smirk. "There's a lot a girl can do with her mouth."

He laughs at that, "Indeed there are."

"Thank you, father. That is why I asked. I needed the confirmation."

"No problem lad."

"Worry not uncle, while I do enjoy the sight of a comely lass like any other young man my age... I dare not inflict the same troubles I have experienced upon my own children." I grin, "Though if anyone could suggest a good apothecary who supplies in bulk, I'd be very much obliged."

That gets him laughing as well. "Well then you'll need to find some girl then to marry though a bastard might have a bit of trouble with that...normally. You on the otherhand...maybe not."

"I grew up in the mountains. There's little nature can throw at a man that I haven't learned to endure. Though I will admit, while I can handle the cold, the damp is a right bother."

He laughs again and says that he doesn't think he'd prefer mountains that much either.

"Ser Martyn Lancet, was my master. I have asked father to allow him to join the feast as without his teaching I would have not been able to stand here today. I owe him much and one day hope to repay..."

If here's here I indicate him and raise a glass to honor him.

"Your master must be once exceptional teacher, if he isn't too attached to his current position I might be tempted to claim him myself." He notices you toasting to your master.

"As for my origins, I was born in the Eyrie."

He nods amiably, "I've never been myself but I've heard much, it is one of the mightiest fortresses in all of the seven kingdoms. Tell me does it truly sit on top of a mountain that one has to be carried up to in order to reach?"

Rieverre wrote:Too few of those to be had in life in general, so I enjoy it. When we stop, though, I've thought of something ... it's a longshot, but should conditions prove favorable ...

"Of course, you could always try to make yourself indispensable. Mychel seems, for all his nobility, canny enough. It's a dangerous world, and trusted advisers are always in short supply. That brings with it its own perils, but ... it could be an option. Read, learn, find insights to offer. It's a possibility, nothing more, little sister ... but it's a possibility."

That IS a thought, she hasn't really thought on it much and numbers make her head hurt BUT she could try.

That or win men's loyalty and become a warlord somewhere. Though that would necessitate a certain level of ruthlessness and abandonment of whatever oaths I'd have made at that point. It's an option, but unless things change drastically it won't be one I pursue religiously.

I suppose winning enough glory to be noticed by the King is also an option, both possibly advantageous and utterly perilous at the same time.

So yeah, I've ambition enough to understand the desire of people to play the game. I'm not sure how to feel about that.

Well you win or you die in that game just sitting on the side won't help.

It's probably why while most knights and soldiers offer prayers to the Warrior, I send such to the Stranger. Ignorance is not bliss, and that which you do not know will, more likely than not, kill you or maim you severely. So I try to find out such things as I can.

Anyway, time to find a herbalist. Preferably one actually skilled, so the house of ill repute he lives by should be one with a reputation for clean girls. Or boys. Honestly, it's academic, I'm looking for indications of competence. Honestly, I'll probably just start by asking Ser Martyn if he can narrow my options down here.

After talking with some of the locals they tell you that there are two reliable places, one is run by a former whore named Anna, she apparently bought her way out of service AND married some apothecary, then when he died she returned to help out the girls best she could. She's fair in price and her remedies normally work.

The other one is an old goat of a man name Henk, some think he was originally a Maester that was kicked out from the order and from his reputation it's possible. The man is cantankerous, callous, and makes one pay through the nose, but he's always successful...ALWAYS no matter the crotch rot or other unpleasantness his patients will recover from their ordeal.

Aceraptor wrote:I bow again in thanks, that was... more money then I've ever had. "Thank you my lord."

Well, once I am dismissed, time to tell the big news to my sister, and see about getting her a gift.

He says to think nothing of it and you head out. Mya is quite impressed and she gets excited at the idea of a gift, there was a copper necklace that all but sang to her a few days ago and she hopes it's still there.

When you arrive the necklace is still there, with a semiprecious stone set in it, all yours for 20 ss.

Brian Boru wrote:
He laughs at that, "Indeed there are."

I laugh with him.

"No problem lad."

I simply not. "I look forward to belting the next idiot to open his mouth before informing him he's lucky my father didn't hear him say that..."

That gets him laughing as well.  "Well then you'll need to find some girl then to marry though a bastard might have a bit of trouble with that...normally.

"You'd be surprised actually... noble daughter, yes, but I'm still of noble blood. It really depends on how low I'm willing to marry. Few bastards consider it, but in truth most merchants... even the wealthy ones would jump at the chance to marry into a noble line, even indirectly... this is double so with a great house, and double again in the case of the royal line."

 You on the otherhand...maybe not."

I smirk, "Because I'm just so damned pretty."

He laughs again and says that he doesn't think he'd prefer mountains that much either.

"It's a shame all of Westeros isn't like the Dornish coast, with swaying palms, sandy beaches, and rolling surf... pleasant in the winters and in the summers... well... that's what the rolling surf is for. Imagine it, a life of laying on the beaches, on a nice cotton towel drinking sweet mead out of a half a cocoanut and watch shapely, salty Dornish maidens in the waves, their bare wet skin glittering like polished bronze in the sun..."

I seem to drool a bit at the idea and then sigh deeply.

"Now that is paradise."

"Your master must be once exceptional teacher, if he isn't too attached to his current position I might be tempted to claim him myself."  He notices you toasting to your master.  

I smile. "Nothing would please me more than seeing him get the recognition he deserves."

He nods amiably, "I've never been myself but I've heard much, it is one of the mightiest fortresses in all of the seven kingdoms.  Tell me does it truly sit on top of a mountain that one has to be carried up to in order to reach?"

"Carried up? There are supply baskets though we like to discourage basket rides. It's safer just to take the trail." I take a sip of wine, "It's a long walk, but most people can manage it, if only just. I will proclaim though, and you take this as you will, that the maidens of the Eyrie have the finest bottoms of all of Westeros."

Brian Boru wrote:That IS a thought, she hasn't really thought on it much and numbers make her head hurt BUT she could try.

"I'll teach you what I know, and we can learn what I don't know together," I offer. I probably wouldn't be this confident if, on one side, Ser Martyn hadn't hammered the basics into my brain with his typical efficiency, and on the other, my mother hadn't been a maths teacher. Either way, it's a question of starting with the basics and building on those, and in case of history I can at least 'cheat' and begin with relevant things about House Redfort. That's something she'll have motivation to learn.

After talking with some of the locals they tell you that there are two reliable places, one is run by a former whore named Anna, she apparently bought her way out of service AND married some apothecary, then when he died she returned to help out the girls best she could.  She's fair in price and her remedies normally work.

The other one is an old goat of a man name Henk, some think he was originally a Maester that was kicked out from the order and from his reputation it's possible.  The man is cantankerous, callous, and makes one pay through the nose, but he's always successful...ALWAYS no matter the crotch rot or other unpleasantness his patients will recover from their ordeal.

Hmm. Henk's got the superior body of knowledge and experience, but by the same token he's probably going to demand a hand and a leg, and I'm not necessarily in the position to part with that kind of money. That and I'm not certain how his attitude would lend itself to teaching. Anna, OTOH, seems to be the economy option, and I _am_ on a budget.

On the other hand, I could debate the relative merits for a while and not get anywhere. Best I actually visit both and ask what they would charge for lessons if they would even be ready to provide tutelage in the first place.

Psyckosama wrote:I simply not. "I look forward to belting the next idiot to open his mouth before informing him he's lucky my father didn't hear him say that..."

"I'd like to see you do it."

"You'd be surprised actually... noble daughter, yes, but I'm still of noble blood. It really depends on how low I'm willing to marry. Few bastards consider it, but in truth most merchants... even the wealthy ones would jump at the chance to marry into a noble line, even indirectly... this is double so with a great house, and double again in the case of the royal line."

"That is a thought..."

I smirk, "Because I'm just so damned pretty."

"Yes such a curse we live under, the vicious ladies just will not leave us alone." Mock distress is in his voice.

"It's a shame all of Westeros isn't like the Dornish coast, with swaying palms, sandy beaches, and rolling surf... pleasant in the winters and in the summers... well... that's what the rolling surf is for. Imagine it, a life of laying on the beaches, on a nice cotton towel drinking sweet mead out of a half a cocoanut and watch shapely, salty Dornish maidens in the waves, their bare wet skin glittering like polished bronze in the sun..."

I seem to drool a bit at the idea and then sigh deeply.

"Now that is paradise."

He chuckles at the glazed look in your eyes, "You're Robert's alright."

Robert heard that little discription as well, he laughs and says, "Shame they'd likely skin you alive for looking like me."

I smile. "Nothing would please me more than seeing him get the recognition he deserves."

He nods and he has a calculating look on his face.

"Carried up? There are supply baskets though we like to discourage basket rides. It's safer just to take the trail." I take a sip of wine, "It's a long walk, but most people can manage it, if only just. I will proclaim though, and you take this as you will, that the maidens of the Eyrie have the finest bottoms of all of Westeros."

Lord Rowan is a bit more controlled but even he snorts a bit at that.
Robert howls at that one. You're rather glad Cersei isn't here you get the feeling that things would be more ...refined...but MUCH MORE miserable for everyone involved.

Rieverre wrote:"I'll teach you what I know, and we can learn what I don't know together," I offer. I probably wouldn't be this confident if, on one side, Ser Martyn hadn't hammered the basics into my brain with his typical efficiency, and on the other, my mother hadn't been a maths teacher. Either way, it's a question of starting with the basics and building on those, and in case of history I can at least 'cheat' and begin with relevant things about House Redfort. That's something she'll have motivation to learn.

Well you can try there IS a small library you could access and Mya IS a good friend of Myranda Royce, Nestor's Daughter.

Hmm. Henk's got the superior body of knowledge and experience, but by the same token he's probably going to demand a hand and a leg, and I'm not necessarily in the position to part with that kind of money. That and I'm not certain how his attitude would lend itself to teaching. Anna, OTOH, seems to be the economy option, and I _am_ on a budget.

On the other hand, I could debate the relative merits for a while and not get anywhere. Best I actually visit both and ask what they would charge for lessons if they would even be ready to provide tutelage in the first place.

Well when you get down there you hear a godsawful shriek coming from the apothecary that Anna runs and the sound of smashing furniture and pottery. When you run in you spot a Sworn Sword looming over Anna and a girl you guess is her daughter. The man snarls and says, "You fucking bitches, you said this stuff was supposed to work. I spent 2 weeks pay for this and slathered it all over me privates for a month and guess what NOTHING HAPPENED! So I aim to get my money and time back one way or another."

Brian Boru wrote:"I'd like to see you do it."

"Can't see how that would be possible. If you were there, then by your own admission you'd be a hammering."

"That is a thought..."

"One I'm shocked more lords don't consider. Honestly, some will marry their daughters right off their first bleed to men old enough to be their own fathers for a couple sword arms and a plot of scrubland, but never think of the benefits of marrying daughters and bastards into the merchant class," I pause, "Say what you will about purity of blood and ancient tradition, but gold is the life blood of Westeros and anyone who disagrees should ask Tywin Lannister his opinion on the matter."

"Yes such a curse we live under, the vicious ladies just will not leave us alone."  Mock distress is in his voice.

I gently pat his hand. "Worry not Uncle, I shall protect you from the lusty maidens. It shall be a bother true, and quite a toil, but a man does what he must for the sake of his kindred."

He chuckles at the glazed look in your eyes, "You're Robert's alright."

"I thought every man had that fantasy."

Robert heard that little discription as well, he laughs and says, "Shame they'd likely skin you alive for looking like me."

"I believe my manhandling of Ser Jamie and the Mountain who Rides may have given my a stay of execution.... though possibly complaints that I wasn't aiming my lance higher on the latter."

He nods and he has a calculating look on his face.

I smile a bit.

Lord Rowan is a bit more controlled but even he snorts a bit at that.

I grin. "The climb works the buttocks like a black smith's hammer. I swear you could bounce a star a yard high off of the arses of some of these girls."

Robert howls at that one.

 

I give him a look. "Are you agreeing, father?"

You're rather glad Cersei isn't here you get the feeling that things would be more ...refined...but MUCH MORE miserable for everyone involved.

Don't you mean everyone present? And not like I'd pay attention to her anyways.

Honestly we need to get this man unwhipped.

Brian Boru wrote:Well you can try there IS a small library you could access and Mya IS a good friend of Myranda Royce, Nestor's Daughter.

Hmm. Yes, let's try that. I'll promise to be on my best behavior and show up actually, you know, neat tidy and washed up. Which, come to think of it, is what I've been doing in general given that there's kind of a health reason why the adage 'cleanliness is next to godliness' was coined.

Well when you get down there you hear a godsawful shriek coming from the apothecary that Anna runs and the sound of smashing furniture and pottery.  When you run in you spot a Sworn Sword looming over Anna and a girl you guess is her daughter.  The man snarls and says, "You fucking bitches, you said this stuff was supposed to work.  I spent 2 weeks pay for this and slathered it all over me privates for a month and guess what NOTHING HAPPENED!  So I aim to get my money and time back one way or another."

"You know, I'd assume that someone who actually lives and runs a business here would know better than to try to cheat a large, well armed and obviously desperate man," I announce myself, figuring I should at least attempt a non-violent solution. Besides, if the man actually has a problem of that particular nature, I can sort of see how upset he'd be. "So at least let the woman try to explain, Ser."

Psyckosama wrote:"Can't see how that would be possible. If you were there, then by your own admission you'd be a hammering."

"Wishful thinking."

"One I'm shocked more lords don't consider. Honestly, some will marry their daughters right off their first bleed to men old enough to be their own fathers for a couple sword arms and a plot of scrubland, but never think of the benefits of marrying daughters and bastards into the merchant class," I pause, "Say what you will about purity of blood and ancient tradition, but gold is the life blood of Westeros and anyone who disagrees should ask Tywin Lannister his opinion on the matter."

"True but you still need the land to feed people."

I gently pat his hand. "Worry not Uncle, I shall protect you from the lusty maidens. It shall be a bother true, and quite a toil, but a man does what he must for the sake of his kindred."

That gets him laughing again.

"I thought every man had that fantasy."

"Maybe but most aren't quite so...descriptive and public about it."

"I believe my manhandling of Ser Jamie and the Mountain who Rides may have given my a stay of execution.... though possibly complaints that I wasn't aiming my lance higher on the latter."

"Heh, maybe I should send you down there to try and make nice with them."

I grin. "The climb works the buttocks like a black smith's hammer. I swear you could bounce a star a yard high off of the arses of some of these girls."

Mental images abound.

I give him a look. "Are you agreeing, father?"

"I actually tried that one once, it worked, sort of."

Don't you mean everyone present? And not like I'd pay attention to her anyways.

Honestly we need to get this man unwhipped.

Few months with her embarrassed and locked up should do it though Tywin won't take kindly to it.

Rieverre wrote:Hmm. Yes, let's try that. I'll promise to be on my best behavior and show up actually, you know, neat tidy and washed up. Which, come to think of it, is what I've been doing in general given that there's kind of a health reason why the adage 'cleanliness is next to godliness' was coined.

"We might be able to get Myranda to agree with that."

"You know, I'd assume that someone who actually lives and runs a business here would know better than to try to cheat a large, well armed and obviously desperate man," I announce myself, figuring I should at least attempt a non-violent solution. Besides, if the man actually has a problem of that particular nature, I can sort of see how upset he'd be. "So at least let the woman try to explain, Ser."

"Stay out of this boy. This is between me and the bitch here."

The girl then screams, "HELP US! By the Seven Help US!"

The man then back hands the girl hard enough to knock her off her feet and crash into a chest.

Brian Boru wrote:
"Wishful thinking."

"Aye. There is that."

"True but you still need the land to feed people."

I smile. "That is a matter of maximizing production and organized distribution."

That gets him laughing again.

And in general I joke with him.

"Maybe but most aren't quite so...descriptive and public about it."

"I'm 14. I'm entitled."

"Heh, maybe I should send you down there to try and make nice with them."

"Maybe. Though I don't think I'd be getting much success. While they might not lynch me, they'd probably still want the slayers of their kin put to the sword."

Mental images abound.

I chuckle.

"I actually tried that one once, it worked, sort of."

"If it was my mothers I beg that you say no more. There are images that no boy ever wishes to have run through his mind."

Few months with her embarrassed and locked up should do it though Tywin won't take kindly to it.

Fuck Tywin. And hopefully by then I might give him bigger problems to worry about.

So moving on a bit?

Brian Boru wrote:"We might be able to get Myranda to agree with that."

"Let's hope. A library's as useful as an armory, and you don't have to actually carry anything out to take things with you."

The girl then screams, "HELP US!  By the Seven Help US!"

The man then back hands the girl hard enough to knock her off her feet and crash into a chest.

Oh, for the love of ...

While he's distracted with that, I take a long stride or two - no running or anything that would draw his attention away from the easy prey, and because the room likely isn't that large either - and apply a sleeper hold. Let's try to make do with a minimal amount of fuss and bother here. If that doesn't work, I'll be close enough to just manhandle him outside. Hyperextending an elbow should work - I'll save any percussive maintenance for until after he's tried to attack me.

Psyckosama wrote:I smile. "That is a matter of maximizing production and organized distribution."

He raises an eyebrow, impressed.

"There's also a good reason why the Reach has the biggest army in the seven kingdoms.

And in general I joke with him.

Fun is had.

"I'm 14. I'm entitled."

That makes him laugh again.

"Maybe. Though I don't think I'd be getting much success. While they might not lynch me, they'd probably still want the slayers of their kin put to the sword."

"Was a thought. Ah, hells with it, let them stew in the sand down there."

"If it was my mothers I beg that you say no more. There are images that no boy ever wishes to have run through his mind."

That makes him laugh again. "Relax son, it wasn't her."

Fuck Tywin. And hopefully by then I might give him bigger problems to worry about.

So moving on a bit?

As you turn from lord Rowan, a strong voice from about your navel height is heard, "Ah so this is today's champion. I must say you've caused quite the stir here." Turning you spot a blonde dwarf with Hetero-chromatic eyes one green, the other black. "Tyrion Lannister at your service, and you're Eddard Stone, Bastard Son of the King?"

Rieverre wrote:"Let's hope. A library's as useful as an armory, and you don't have to actually carry anything out to take things with you."

"Never though of it like that but that's true."

Oh, for the love of ...

While he's distracted with that, I take a long stride or two - no running or anything that would draw his attention away from the easy prey, and because the room likely isn't that large either - and apply a sleeper hold. Let's try to make do with a minimal amount of fuss and bother here. If that doesn't work, I'll be close enough to just manhandle him outside. Hyperextending an elbow should work - I'll save any percussive maintenance for until after he's tried to attack me.

You manage to get him into a sleeper hold but he makes a fight of it by trying to slam you into a wall with his larger size but if you plant your feet he can't get you to budge.

Brian Boru wrote:"Never though of it like that but that's true."

"The sword in your hands, they can take. The strength in your arms, they can remove. But unless you take leave from your senses the mind is a weapon you will always have."

You manage to get him into a sleeper hold but he makes a fight of it by trying to slam you into a wall with his larger size but if you plant your feet he can't get you to budge.

I do. And I make sure I keep the pressure on. I'm not trying to choke him out, I'm trying to put him out via pressure to the cartoid.

Brian Boru wrote:He raises an eyebrow, impressed.

I smile.

"There's also a good reason why the Reach has the biggest army in the seven kingdoms.

"Fortuitous geography."

Fun is had.

Indeed.

That makes him laugh again.

Il augh with.

"Was a thought.  Ah, hells with it, let them stew in the sand down there."

I say nothing in public though I'm going to have to chat with him in private.

That makes him laugh again.  "Relax son, it wasn't her."

"Thank the Seven."

As you turn from lord Rowan, a strong voice from about your navel height is heard, "Ah so this is today's champion.  I must say you've caused quite the stir here."  Turning you spot a blonde dwarf with Hetero-chromatic eyes one green, the other black.  "Tyrion Lannister at your service, and you're Eddard Stone, Bastard Son of the King?"

"Indeed. I've heard mention of you, some good, most discourteous. They call you a half-man, and then say you're clever while twisting it into an insult. I find this to be less than accurate. What I see before me is no half man, but simply as much man as any other, only poor in feet, but from the tales told, wealthy in wit and if your reputation with the ladies is anything to go by, blessed in other directions to boot."

I pause, "Though I must warn you not to practice your impish ways upon my sister... for both of our sakes."

Rieverre wrote:"The sword in your hands, they can take. The strength in your arms, they can remove. But unless you take leave from your senses the mind is a weapon you will always have."

"Got a bit of a minstrel in you brother?"

I do. And I make sure I keep the pressure on. I'm not trying to choke him out, I'm trying to put him out via pressure to the cartoid.

Despite his struggles, he still can't make you budge, then with a slight squeeze to the side of his neck he goes down like a sack of hammers. Out cold. The young woman stares for a moment, then all but tackles you, thanking you several times. It's...not a bad feeling, she takes after her mother and from the look of it, you can tell why she managed to earn enough to get out of this line of work....

Psyckosama wrote:"Fortuitous geography."

"True but it still means that having land is one of the best qualities to have."

I say nothing in public though I'm going to have to chat with him in private.

Interesting.

"Thank the Seven."

Another chuckle.

"Indeed. I've heard mention of you, some good, most discourteous. They call you a half-man, and then say you're clever while twisting it into an insult. I find this to be less than accurate. What I see before me is no half man, but simply as much man as any other, only poor in feet, but from the tales told, wealthy in wit and if your reputation with the ladies is anything to go by, blessed in other directions to boot."

I pause, "Though I must warn you not to practice your impish ways upon my sister... for both of our sakes."

He stares for a moment, not sure how to take this, then he laughs, "Well for a bastard squire from the Vale, you certainly have a way for words. I think I like you lad."

Brian Boru wrote:"True but it still means that having land is one of the best qualities to have."

"It's an advantage for sure, but one that can be overcome with proper tools, techniques, and logistics."

I pause for a moment before adding, "I mean by all rights the Riverlands should be as wealthy as the Reach if not more so."

Interesting.

Heh.

He stares for a moment, not sure how to take this, then he laughs, "Well for a bastard squire from the Vale, you certainly have a way for words.  I think I like you lad."

I simply smile. It's warm and honest. "So, how fair you this day?"

Brian Boru wrote:"Got a bit of a minstrel in you brother?"

"Doubt it. I'd have to do away with the bucket I use to carry tunes. I like that bucket. It's been with me for a long time."

So, operation library visit?

Despite his struggles, he still can't make you budge, then with a slight squeeze to the side of his neck he goes down like a sack of hammers.  Out cold.  The young woman stares for a moment, then all but tackles you, thanking you several times.  It's...not a bad feeling, she takes after her mother and from the look of it, you can tell why she managed to earn enough to get out of this line of work....

"Yes, quite, that's lovely but your problem here ... well, our problem now, I suppose, is only taking a nap."

I give her an awkward pat on the back, not really used to anyone being this enthusiastic at me, especially when it's a pretty girl. Over the top of her head, I give her mother a curious look. What do they look like anyway?

"And it would probably be a good idea if you told me just what in the hells actually happened, since I'll probably be the one dragging him to a watch-house to sleep it off. Or maybe I'll find a wheelbarrow. Either or."

Psyckosama wrote:"It's an advantage for sure, but one that can be overcome with proper tools, techniques, and logistics."

I pause for a moment before adding, "I mean by all rights the Riverlands should be as wealthy as the Reach if not more so."

"Well aren't you a clever lad."  He laughs

I simply smile. It's warm and honest. "So, how fair you this day?"

"Well my legs hurt, I'm a bit drunk, my stomach is full, and I have a trio of girls waiting in my chambers.  All in all a normal day.  Though I will admit I lost quite a bit when I bet on my brother against you.  I must admit you've some incredible talent with horse and lance."

Rieverre wrote:"Doubt it. I'd have to do away with the bucket I use to carry tunes. I like that bucket. It's been with me for a long time."

So, operation library visit?

She giggles and goes on to the library.  While it isn't huge, it's a fairly well stocked place, what do you start with?

"Yes, quite, that's lovely but your problem here ... well, our problem now, I suppose, is only taking a nap."

I give her an awkward pat on the back, not really used to anyone being this enthusiastic at me, especially when it's a pretty girl. Over the top of her head, I give her mother a curious look. What do they look like anyway?

"And it would probably be a good idea if you told me just what in the hells actually happened, since I'll probably be the one dragging him to a watch-house to sleep it off. Or maybe I'll find a wheelbarrow. Either or."

The older woman looks at the man for a moment, then pulls something from the shelf, she turns to you "Help me lift him up."

You get his head up and she pours the concoction down his throat.  "There he should be out for the rest of the day."

She then looks to you, her hair is a brilliant red with grey streaked here and there.  Her eyes are sky blue and though she's certainly older most men would have to be dead or simply not interested in women to completely ignore her still full figure.  Her daughter is all of these things without the signs of age.  She's about maybe a year older than you and even if you're made out of stone you take a glance or two.

http://www.trainbodyandmind.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/Workout-in-the-park-hot-redhead-02.jpg


"This lunk was one of my customers, he had a condition and I gave him something that can normally help. It didn't and he wanted to complain about it to me. If you hadn't come in me and my daughter would be in a bit of trouble. You have my thanks. She then gets a closer look, you look familiar lad, have we met before?"

Brian Boru wrote:"Well aren't you a clever lad."  He laughs

I smile. He has no idea.

But from here lets just go into a bit of banter.

"Well my legs hurt, I'm a bit drunk, my stomach is full, and I have a trio of girls waiting in my chambers.  All in all a normal day.

I raise and eyebrow. "Have you considered a new set of shoes? I find that many leg related issues often boil down to having the wrong thing on your feet."

Though I will admit I lost quite a bit when I bet on my brother against you.  I must admit you've some incredible talent with horse and lance."

"I'd apologize for your financial downturn, but I'd be lying if I said I was sorry."

From here I generally and friendly and witty with everyone, though I do play the humble hero a bit... just humble enough so I come off as not arrogant, but proud enough so I don't come off being self-depreciative.

Moving on?

Psyckosama wrote:I smile. He has no idea.

But from here lets just go into a bit of banter.

Well things go pretty well and he does ask that you visit Storm's End some time.

I raise and eyebrow. "Have you considered a new set of shoes? I find that many leg related issues often boil down to having the wrong thing on your feet."

He laughs, "I thank you for the concern but no. It doesn't matter what shoes I wear, if I walk around too much my legs hurt."

"I'd apologize for your financial downturn, but I'd be lying if I said I was sorry."

"No if you were the better rider then you were the better rider. And you certainly impressed many people out there. Don't be too surprised if other will begin to ask for your services soon. Might even break through my father's adherence to propriety to deign to take a bastard into his house hold."

From here I generally and friendly and witty with everyone, though I do play the humble hero a bit... just humble enough so I come off as not arrogant, but proud enough so I don't come off being self-depreciative.

Moving on?

The rest of the night goes pretty well you didn't drink too much but Martyn has one HELL of a sore head. The next day is the day of the grand melee, 100 knights line up around the edge of the huge tourney field. What arms do you wear and what horse do you ride? The old Rounsey you've been using or the Huge Destrier Stallion you won off of Clegane?

Brian Boru wrote:
Well things go pretty well and he does ask that you visit Storm's End some time.

I laugh "I'd like to see you stop me!"

He laughs, "I thank you for the concern but no.  It doesn't matter what shoes I wear, if I walk around too much my legs hurt."

I frown slightly. I'm honestly distressed by this. Not too much, but enough that hearing it brings me displeasure. "Have you consulted a Maester or possibly a healer from the Free Cities?"

If so I simply nod and let it end there as I have no desire to damage his pride, only show concern for his discomfort.

"No if you were the better rider then you were the better rider.  And you certainly impressed many people out there.  Don't be too surprised if other will begin to ask for your services soon.  Might even break through my father's adherence to propriety to deign to take a bastard into his house hold."

He can probably see me tense up at the idea of serving Tywin Lannister.

"I'm considering spending some time traveling the lands and making my fortune in the tourneys."

From here I generally and friendly and witty with everyone, though I do play the humble hero a bit... just humble enough so I come off as not arrogant, but proud enough so I don't come off being self-depreciative.

Moving on?

The rest of the night goes pretty well you didn't drink too much but Martyn has one HELL of a sore head.  The next day is the day of the grand melee, 100 knights line up around the edge of the huge tourney field.  What arms do you wear and what horse do you ride?  The old Rounsey you've been using or the Huge Destrier Stallion you won off of Clegane?

I'd like to see if I can get Clegane's horse to behave I'll ride it. But in generla my intent is to kick ass and chew bubblegum... and I'm all out of bubblegum!

Psyckosama wrote:I laugh "I'd like to see you stop me!"

"Then I'll see you there some day."

I frown slightly. I'm honestly distressed by this. Not too much, but enough that hearing it brings me displeasure. "Have you consulted a Maester or possibly a healer from the Free Cities?"

If so I simply nod and let it end there as I have no desire to damage his pride, only show concern for his discomfort.

"I have and they've done what they can't I am what I am and not much else to be done about it."

[quote]He can probably see me tense up at the idea of serving Tywin Lannister.

"I'm considering spending some time traveling the lands and making my fortune in the tourneys."[quote]

"Well if you have repeats like before then you'll be sure to be covered in glory and honor. Though other tourney competitor may begin cursing your name if you beat them out too many times. Though the fair maidens there might help make up for it...or make it worse..."

I'd like to see if I can get Clegane's horse to behave I'll ride it. But in generla my intent is to kick ass and chew bubblegum... and I'm all out of bubblegum!

It takes a bit of a struggle and finally just punching the damn thing before he does what you want him to but he's good to go. Wielding Robert's Hammer, you tear towards the center of the ring where the main melee is centered. Knights go flying, sometimes literally as you tear through them like a whirlwind. As you're about to knock some Northman from his horse, a lance strikes you in the back of the head. Someone tried to knock your head off. Looking around, you spot some weedy looking Dornishman who's the likely culperate. You chase after him or focus on the Northman?

Brian Boru wrote:
"Then I'll see you there some day."

"Doubtlessly!"

"I have and they've done what they can't I am what I am and not much else to be done about it."

I look a little saddened at that. "Well, then I guess it is best that you get off your feet and rest your weary legs. Lets speak another time then?"

"Well if you have repeats like before then you'll be sure to be covered in glory and honor.  Though other tourney competitor may begin cursing your name if you beat them out too many times.   Though the fair maidens there might help make up for it...or make it worse..."

I laugh. "There are already plenty of names they curse. I shall simply add one to the list."

It takes a bit of a struggle and finally just punching the damn thing before he does what you want him to but he's good to go.  Wielding Robert's Hammer, you tear towards the center of the ring where the main melee is centered.  Knights go flying, sometimes literally as you tear through them like a whirlwind.  As you're about to knock some Northman from his horse, a lance strikes you in the back of the head.  Someone tried to knock your head off.  Looking around, you spot some weedy looking Dornishman who's the likely culperate.  You chase after him or focus on the Northman?

I glare at him for a second, but I keep focused on what I'm doing.

He's next though!

Psyckosama wrote:I look a little saddened at that. "Well, then I guess it is best that you get off your feet and rest your weary legs. Lets speak another time then?"

He just finds a stool to sit on.

I laugh. "There are already plenty of names they curse. I shall simply add one to the list."

"Well you don't lack bravado and I wish you luck."

I glare at him for a second, but I keep focused on what I'm doing.

He's next though!

The Northman goes down like a sack of hammers and you turn to go after the Dornishman, you see him, but he's already gotten to the far side of the 20 knights left. You plow through, go around, or just leave him alone either you'll run into him again or someone else will take care of him?